Perhaps it's the diamond commercials promising love when you slip a ring on her finger. A diamond is forever. Every kiss begins with Kay. Or maybe it's just the prospect of an upcoming wedding. Whatever the reason, lately I've been thinking a lot about love, thinking about what it is and what it is not.
Is love that fluttering butterfly feeling in your stomach when you see him? Is love the desire to spend all your time with another person, or at least the rest of the night? Is love the pleasure you feel when you hold hands? No, we know true love is more than all these. We read in John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down oneʼs life for oneʼs friends.”
This is love. The daily laying down of our life for our spouse. Love is putting his needs before our own. Love is active, love is a choice.
Love is being quiet and listening when he needs to talk.
Love is showing up at his softball games or tennis tournaments and being his biggest fan.
Love is following through on your promises.
Love is standing by him when he's been laid off, or when he's been falsely accused.
Love is sharing joy together.
Love is forgiving him when he is unforgivable.
Love is finding something to laugh about together.
Love is working through arguments without cutting him down.
Love is putting on his socks when he's had surgery.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is an active, daily choice to lay your life down for his.
How is this kind of love even possible? After all, we are fallible, human creatures.
I John 4 holds the key: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” 1 John 4:16. And later: “We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19.
True love, real and lasting love can only come from the Creator of love; it can only come from the one Who IS love. It is only as we ourselves know this true love of God that we can fully love our spouse.